Kuriou en megaloprepia.
Phune Kuriou en ischui, phone kedrous,
suntripsei Kurios tas kedrous tou Libanou -
Kai leptunei autas hos ton moschon ton Libanon,
kai ho egapemenos hos huios monokeroton.

Psalms 29:5-6

This is the psalm which was read at the baseball party before Game 3 of the 1999 ALCS. The translation in my Septuagint as, "There is the voice of the Lord who breaks the cedars; the Lord will break the cedars of Lebanon. And he will beat them small, even Lebanon itself, like a calf; and the beloved one is as a young unicorn." It is, however, Greek to me. (I speak a little classical Greek. It's a gorgeous language. I think I'll use this passage as a benediction when I get to Fenway for a game. It worked last time.)

The person reading reworded slightly. "The Lord will break the bats of...."

Okay. This is even more frivolous than most of my content. But I'm feeling far more frivolous than usual at the moment.

Anyone who pokes at my links list, players section, will see a reference there to the Pedro Bible, home of the Followers of Pedro. This amusing sect and I have exchanged email and established a certain amount of sectarian debate about the question of whether Pedro Martinez stands at the right hand of the baseball gods, as I insist, or among them, and indeed prime among them, as they say.

After some lively and frivolous debate, I at least have agreed to disagree. While the difference is far from being unresolvable, it strikes me as being more amusing to form a splinter sect and putter around on my own. And as I am quite fond of doing things for the pure amusement value inherent in them....

I was, originally, debating the value of putting up player-specific pages on this site. Part of this is the fact that I'm more of a fan of the Sox as a whole than any specific player, and have somehow managed to avoid the popular fascination with fame that seems to be a major portion of the culture. The more specific reason is that I think that to build pages devoted to the adulation of specific players weirds me out a little - I know I'd be more than slightly bemused if a couple hundred people decided to put their thoughts about me and versions of my biography and baseball stats (Born: 3 February, 1978. Position: RF. Bats: Right. Throws: Right....) up on the web. It's a little voyeuristic.

I don't know if this writing means I'm more likely to be doing other player-specific pages of any sort, frivolous or otherwise. But it's something to start with. And the merest concept amused me.

1. The Revelation of Pedro, which was given to show his servants what must soon take place, and which was made known by sending his messenger to his servant, who bore witness to the word and the pitching dominance of Pedro, even to all that she saw. Blessed is he who reads aloud the words of the prophecy, and blessed are those who hear, and who keep what is written herein, for the time is near.
   To the many fans that are in Boston: Grace to you and peace from him who is and who was and who is to come, and from the eight position players who are around his mound, and from the umpire who is the faithful witness and does not call Offerman out at second.
   To him who loves us and has freed us from the Curse by his hand and made us a Wild Card, to him be glory and pitching dominion for ever and ever. Behold, he is coming from the clubhouse, and every eye shall see him, and all the teams of the American League shall wail on account of him. Even so. Amen.
2. I know your works, I know your toil and your patient endurance, and how you cannot bear evil men from New York but have tested those who call themselves ballplayers but are not and found them to be false; I know you are enduring patiently and bearing up for my name's sake, and you have not grown weary. But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the faith in these your Red Sox you had at first. Remember then from what you have fallen, repent and do the works you did at first. If not, I will come to you and remove your hope of a pennant from its place, unless you repent.
   I know your tribulations and the slander of those who are Yankee fans and are servants of that which is in Yankee Stadium. Do not fear what you will suffer in the off-season. Behold, the Yankee fans will speak to you smugly, that you may be tested.
   I know where you dwell, where Steinbrenner's throne is; you hold fast my name and you did not deny my faith even in the days when you were brought into New York where he dwells. But I have a few things against you; you have some there who hold the teaching of Shaughnessy, who puts a stumbling block before the Sox, that they might have their followers tainted with doubt. Repent these views.
3. I know your works. Behold, I have set before you an open door, which no one is able to shut; I know that each of you has but little power, and yet you ahve kept my word and have not denied my name. Behold, I will make those in the service of Steinbrenner come and bow down before your feet and learn that I have loved you.
   I know your works, you are neither true diehard nor disbeliever in the way of baseball. So, because you are lukewarm, and neither true nor indifferent, but one of those who steps forward to speak brightly of the Sox when they win, and who does not speak at all of them when they do not, I cast you aside.
4. After this I looked, and lo, in Fenway an open door! And the first voice, which I had heard speaking to me as over the loudspeaker, said, "Come hither, and I will show you what must take place after this." At once, I was in the ballpark, and lo, there in heaven was he. Round the mound were the twenty-four other roster members, clad in white garments with blue ballcaps upon their heads. From the mound issue flashes of high heat, and voices and wicked spotted offspeeds.
5. And I saw clasped in his right hand a baseball. And I saw an umpire proclaiming, "Who is worthy to throw this as a breaking ball?" And no one in heaven or on earth was worthy to hit the breaking ball, and I wept with joy that no one was worthy to hit the breaking ball.
6. And when I saw the first windup of the ball and the delivery, a great cry went up from the living creatures, as with a voice of thunders, and it said, "Strike." And at the second batter to face the ball, out also came other strikes, and the third, and the fourth, such that it was as at the All-Star Game and the four first batters rode away from the diamond without so much as a step towards first base, and thus they were denied power over a full inning-plus of the game.
7. After this I saw the four umpires standing at the four corners of the diamond, holding forth judgement on the four places of close play, that no runner might go unjudged nor throw go uncaught without it being known.
   After this I looked, and behold, a great multitude which no man could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and tongues, standing before the ticket booth with cash in their hands and crying out in a loud voice, "Tickets belong to we who have gotten here to get into the ballpark."
8. When they called for the seventh inning stretch, there was silence for about half a minute. Then the trumpets began to wind and the people in the park did bellow "Charge!" There first blast blew, and there followed a long fly ball to right, and a third of the inning was burned up. And then the second trumpet was blown, and something like a great mountain, burning with inner fire, stepped up to the plate, and the third pitch was destroyed in an off-the-wall double. The third trumpet was sounded, and the batted ball was as a star from heaven, blazing like a torch, and it fell into the net on the Monster for an RBI.
9. And then again the loudspeakers were sounded, and I saw a star fallen from heaven. It came forward and opened up the bottomless bullpen, and from the shaft rose smoke like the smoke of a great furnace, and from the bullpen came relievers onto the grass, setup men and closers in all their numbers, and they were told not to harm the grass of the earth or any green growth or any tree, but to strike out those of mankind who stood forth without the red stockings on their feet.
10. Then I saw another mighty figure coming down from above, wrapped in a cloud, with a rainbow over his head, and his face was like the sun, and his legs like pillars of fire. He had a little contract open in his hand, and he set his right foot in the harbor, and his left foot on the landfill, and called out in a loud voice, like a lion roaring; when he called out, the seven thunders sounded. And when the seven thunders had sounded, I was about to write, but I heard a voice from the press office saying, "Seal up the contract and do not write it down."
    Then the voice which I had heard spoke to me again, saying, "Go, take the contract which is in the hand of the one who is standing in the sea and on the land." So I went to him and told him to give me the contract, and he said to me, "Take it and eat; it will be bitter to your stomach, but sweet as honey in your mouth." And I took the contract and ate it, it was sweet as honey in my mouth, but when I had eaten it, my stomach was made bitter.
11. Then I was given a measuring rod like a staff, and I was told, "Rise and measure the temple and those who worship there, but do not measure the court outside the shrine; leave that out, for it is given over to pedestrians and they will trample over it and go to nightclubs without a care." And keeping in mind the words of the Spaceman, I did measure the shrine, the distance to the Wall and all other things therein, but did not measure the courts and streets outside the park.

I'd go on, but St. John the Divine Mushroomhead is really hard to follow under the best of circumstances. More probably later.